The Jou Wars
by Question Mark Hatman
Summary: After everything goes down in Domino City. Nothing else can happen, right? Wrong...it's a war taken to the extreme, just for the heart of a boy... [shounen-ai]
1. It Begins

Author's note : This was inspired by :  
  
-Capcom versus SNK 2  
  
-A random YugixHonda RP I made with someone whom I will call Mr Shy Person.  
  
-Lots and lots "discovering yourself" sessions  
  
So please enjoy the showdown.  
  
----------  
  
In a distant, far away land, two friends fight for the ultimate prize...  
  
Using nothing short of backstabbing, double-crossing, and treachery to get to their goal...  
  
Nothing will stand in their way...  
  
Fate has ordained this duel...  
  
There will be hell to pay...  
  
Ladies and Gentlemen...Amazing Supreme Productions, alongside the crazy mad genius of Igatona, bring you the showdown of the millenium (items)...  
  
It's finally time for...  
  
* * *  
  
Yugi versus Honda : The Jou Wars  
  
* * *  
  
Before hell struck Domino city and the Jou Wars begun, here is a calendar of the pre-war happenings.  
  
8 of June : Yugi falls into Jou, and accidentally gropes him down there. Honda sees this, and doesn't take mind.  
  
9 of June : Yugi falls into Jou, but doesn't accidentally grope him. He gropes him in a non-subtle way. This tingles Honda's sense of "Yugi wants Jou, sexually."  
  
15 of June : Honda asks Jou about Yugi. Jou answers that it was just an accident both times. Honda isn't convinced.  
  
16 of June : Honda asks Yugi about Jou. Yugi tells him that he loves Jou.  
  
25 of June : While riding his motorcycle, Honda crashes, and falls unconscious. He wakes up three days later, and this is the start of the Jou Wars.  
  
* * *  
  
(Honda's POV)  
  
Ow.  
  
Man, what a crash. I'm lucky to be alive. Okay, I'm going to thank the trashcans and the spare tires of that garage, because they saved my life. I feel like shit, but I'm still alive. Well, now that I'm conscious, I guess it's time to go see the guys. First, opening the eyes...  
  
YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!  
  
I'm in a full body cast!  
  
"He's alive! He's alive!" I hear someone say. Hmm...I think it's Yugi.  
  
"Of course he's alive, this is Honda! He's indestructible! Remember when he was in that robotic monkey?" Okay, this is Jounouchi, no one else would EVER say something like this about me.  
  
"Uh...hi guys?" said I, the very confused one, because I really have no idea as to what time, or even what day is it.  
  
"Oh, fuck man, thank god you're alive!" Jou said, while shaking me, and hugging me in a very masculine fashion. You know, like in the movies, when two guys hug each other, but don't mean it romantically?  
  
Yeah, Jou hugged like that.  
  
Unfortunately, that freaking accident must have messed my mind up, because I was dreaming of doing some unsavory things to Jou. 'f course, I wasn't worried about him trying to get the hell away from me, the problem is that there's about an 80% chance that Yugi's claimed him already, which would make all my efforts worthless, and then I'd go on a tirade on how this is my best friend and god knows I should have rights to him just because of that, which I'm sure no one wants to hear. Not even myself. I'll just go have a suicide attempt if I ever became as pathetic as that.  
  
I looked to my right when Jou was busy being a sentimental git, and saw Yugi was fuming. Of course, Yugi fuming, with these great big round eyes of his, and that cute face, and the fact that calling him short stuff wouldn't be enough, made for one hell of a funny thing. So I laughed a bit, because he looked like he was pouting. I also grinned.  
  
* * *  
  
(Yugi/Other Yugi's POV)  
  
No...it can't be. I can't lose the love of my life (and the cutest body ever made, I swear. Maybe if he got a haircut though...) to Honda. He isn't even gay! He can't love Jou properly! He told me so himself, well, at least, that he wasn't gay. Wait a sec, maybe he meant by that that he was bisexual! Oh no! I hope that isn't the case!  
  
"Yugi, what is the problem?" asked my other side. Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you, my other side. I call him Yami, well, everyone calls him Yami, but it's not like he's some ancient spirit from a time long gone with unimaginable powers, right? You'd be surprised. But for us, he's just Yami. People tell me that for some reason, when Yami takes control of me, I gain a few inches, but I'm still puny.  
  
Maybe that's why Jou doesn't like me and is hugging Honda!  
  
"Erm, Yugi, don't you think you should find a nice female to settle down with? Or two...or three...or one hundred thousand and five hundred seventy-six women?"  
  
Yugi took insult at what his other side said.  
  
"Yami! I want to be with Jounouchi! I don't want a harem! Well, maybe a harem of Jounouchis, but still..."  
  
Yami just chuckled inside Yugi's mind.  
  
"Okay, okay, I get it. But if we have to face this challenge, we'll face it together, as a team."  
  
"Actually, I'd like you to butt out of this one..."  
  
Yami didn't understand, they did everything as a team, and they would face this challenge together, just like they had done so many times before.  
  
"But Yugi, I may be able to help you."  
  
"Yami, you're straight. You can't help me."  
  
"Erm, of course I can help you!"  
  
"No, you can't. I've seen the reactions when you take over my body. I've never gotten excited like that when I'm near Anzu!"  
  
"Okay, you've got a point there, but if you need me, you know where to find me."  
  
"Of course I do, you silly ancient spirit with immense magical powers you."  
  
Yami retreated into his room in order to angst and eat cookies.  
  
* * *  
  
(General POV)  
  
Eventually, Honda made it out of the hospital. He made it a point to make up lost time with Jou, but this time, it would be on his terms. They went to the arcade, Honda beating Jou mercilessly at various games, Jou winning at others, and they just had a jolly old time.  
  
However, everywhere they went, someone was watching them. They had black and red hair, with yellow thunderstrikes. They were also very thin and could be mistaken for a gothrocker. Upon second examination, they found out it was the other Yugi. Honda told Jou to wait for him because he had something to say to Yugi first.  
  
Jou, slurping on a milkshake he picked up alongside their travels, didn't mind waiting if it meant he could savor this dairy/chocolaty treat with the respect it needed to be given.  
  
Honda pulled the other Yugi aside, the other Yugi pushing Honda away.  
  
"What's wrong with you, Honda, you've never been that close to Jou before."  
  
"What's it to you?" asked Honda venomously.  
  
"Well, you DO know that my other side, the one known as Yugi, also known as the being that is not an ancient spirit with immense magical power, is in love with Jounouchi, right?"  
  
"Yeah I do, which is why I want to ask you to stop following us!"  
  
"He IS worried that you'll steal Jounouchi away from him though."  
  
The proverbial mustard went up to Honda's proverbial nose.  
  
"WHAT!? HIS Jounouchi? Is that kid on smack or what!? Jounouchi is mine, and mine alone! I've been his best friend for ages and now I'm, no, we're ready to take it somewhere else!"  
  
The other Yugi stayed calm as the hot-headed rider breathed hot-air.  
  
"I work in the best interests of my other side, Honda, you should know that better than anyone. But I will give you a tip."  
  
Honda calmed down, because the other Yugi didn't make him visit the Shadow Realm.  
  
"Get some breath mints. Your breath stinks."  
  
Honda was about to go back to Jou, but he turned towards the other Yugi.  
  
"Yeah, well, tell your other side this! Now...it's war!"  
  
----------  
  
Author's note : I figure it's best to leave it off here and continue onto the war journal in the next chapter. If you want the chapter layout, here it is.  
  
1) Introduction  
  
2) Shenanigans  
  
3) Jou's thoughts  
  
4) Conclusion  
  
5) Take over the world.  
  
Erm, there is no number five, you did not see anything. 


	2. Strategic Movements

Author's note : 'bout time I update this, don't you think? Oh, and if you like this story up to now, you wouldn't mind to recommend it to your friends? The more you review, the more I know what's wrong with the fic (and please don't mention the story, or the shounen-ai, because I'm not changing this, I mean, the whole writing style and shit) and the faster I update, because I don't spend time on my other fics which ALSO should have been updated a long time ago.  
  
----------  
  
Yugi versus Honda : The Jou Wars  
  
Strategic Movements  
  
----------  
  
The Jou Wars having now been declared. We shift our view to Yugi, ready to do the first offensive. You see, Yugi, being the smallest in the group, always had to find a way to make himself more noticed. However, that way always ended up adding another layer of leather (and subsequently removing a layer of decent clothes) somewhere on his body. As school was out for the summer, he decided that, to attract Jou's attention and to show off his great, thin, almost effeminate physique, he would wear very tight leather pants, the kind that sticks to the skin, and never lets go without a fight. Yugi struck a pose in front of the mirror, but something didn't feel quite right. Maybe it was his lack of shirt, which did not fit well with his thin frame, or maybe it was something else...he didn't know. So, he thought he would ask the only person that could help him, Yami. Reaching into his mind, he blocked his body into the same pose he was doing, and knocked onto Yami's room door.  
  
"Yami~!" yelled out the shorter boy.  
  
Yami was sleeping, and quite frankly, he was having a really good dream. He remembered his harem, and the great amount of fun he had with these girls back in the day. However, the happy-go-lucky other side needed his help, so he must arise to defend him.  
  
Sadly, Yami never was a morning person. Being a pharaoh with immense magical powers will do that to you.  
  
"Yami~!" shouted the boy again.  
  
Eventually, Yami got up, got dressed as much as possible in the short time frame separating Yugi's soul room from his soul room (a very angsty one at that), and greeted formally the boy who's body he was using to scope out new, more modern, and especially not dead, additions to his harem. So far, he hadn't been lucky.  
  
"Hmm, what is it, little Yugi? Did anyone try to bully you while I was busy sleeping?"  
  
"I need help! I want to dress good for Jou, but I can't find anything!"  
  
Yami thought of this situation as "pointless", but he did do a promise that he would help Yugi out no matter what was necessary. Hence, he took control, and lazily walked over the wardrobe. He took out a generic black shirt, put it on, and then asked Yugi to take control.  
  
"But Yami, this is what I always wear! I want to make it special, just for him."  
  
Yami sighed, however, he did not take control again. He simply told him to get a white shirt and just leave it open for all to see. It was fortunately fair weather, so Yugi would not freeze over his frail body by simply stepping outside. Untieing the sleeves to let absolutely every little inch of fabric hang out in the free wind, he stepped outside, ready to start his first move on Jou.  
  
* * *  
  
The center of the war, Katsuya Jounouchi, was also not a morning person. In fact, he was more of an afternoon person if he needed to get up, otherwise, he was a nightly person. A nightly person that could fall asleep easily. In fact, when Yugi arrived at his home, ringing the doorbell to the apartment, he was only greeted by a gruff voice saying : "Come in!". So, Yugi entered into Jou's home, finding a 290 pound Jou with a bottle of beer, a stubble, and in a shirt. He later found out that this wasn't Jounouchi, but his father. Jou was still sleeping.  
  
"He's still in his room. Wake him up if you wanna talk to him. Bucket o' water's just beside the door kid, use that."  
  
Yugi nodded, taking the advice of, he hoped, his soon-to-be stepfather. He knocked on the door, whispering in a sultry and sexy voice : "Jounouchi...Jounouchi...it's time to get up..."  
  
He was welcomed by a heartfelt snore. Yugi thought that he wouldn't get the one-up on Honda if Jou was sleeping, so Yugi acted upon the advice of Jou's father, and dumped the bucket of water on Jounouchi. However, Yugi not being one of the strongest boys on the planet, he dropped the bucket onto Jounouchi, and Jounouchi simply said "Ow."  
  
The blonde rubbed the spot where the bucket had fallen, and looked around to see a tall and fat old man. No, the only thing he could see was a short, slim, slender, and well-dressed Yugi. Fortunately, Jou wasn't as dumb as he looks sometimes, and added two plus two together, figuring out that Yugi dumped the bucket on him. Now all he needed to do was find out why Yugi was there.  
  
"Uh? Yugi? What're you doing here? And why did you dump a bucket of cold water on me?" he asked, really not woken up yet.  
  
"To wake you up?" Yugi answered, in the same cutesy voice that Yugi always had. Jou thought that made a lot of sense actually, however, he was wet, and almost nude, and had wet sheets.  
  
And it seemed to be making Yugi uncomfortable too, as he seemed to be blushing. Of course, Yugi, at the moment, was thinking of naked Jou and how interesting it would be that same naked Jou would be wrapped up in a small ribbon that was barely covering anything, with said naked Jou saying : "I'm giving myself to you!"  
  
The simple thought of this was very apparant in Yugi's pants.  
  
"Erm, Jou I'llgiveyoutimetogetdressedokaybyeeee!" he blurted, faster than a speeding bullet before exiting Jou's room. Jou scratched the side of his head, simply stating the obvious : "Okay..."  
  
He eventually managed to rummage through his room enough to find a set of decent clothes, and they were off their merry ways to somewhere.  
  
"Yugi, have you even thought of anything we could do before you decided to wake me up?"  
  
"Nope! I just figured we'd wing it!"  
  
"Great."  
  
Now Jou was stuck with someone who was getting a bit too close to him, something he never really appreciated. Plus, he would have to deal with him as long as they don't find something to do. Plus, Yugi wasn't in the mood for arcade going, as they had passed two on their little walking trip without stopping. There was but one thing to do though.  
  
"Yugi! Let's go see if your grandpa has more cards in store!"  
  
Yugi thought of it, if he was back home, then that meant less of a distance to walk when he would finally declare his love to Jounouchi and thus begin to romp around like a pair of bunnies that never found out about recovery time.  
  
"Good idea Jou!"  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, a figure was watching from the darkness. It was a trenchcoat-wearing figure, and if you want a further hint, it was the trenchcoat that wasn't white and didn't have any cards tied to it.  
  
"Hmm, he's already started to move, I guess I'll have to ruin their moment by actually..."  
  
He shuddered, thinking of the horrors he had to suffer for him to finally be able to be with Jou.  
  
"...duelling."  
  
He hopped on his motorcycle, and drove into the distance, making sure to not zoom past Yugi and Jou, as otherwise, Yugi would have guessed something was up.  
  
* * *  
  
At the game shop, however, Yugi and Jou were pretty happy at the idea of spending time together in their own element.  
  
'Especially the element Honda can't match me in.' Yugi thought.  
  
As right as he was, he knew that Honda would not give up until he was forced to, and for Yugi to make Honda give up on something, he needed to use his only edge he had against the other teen, and that was duelling. They went in the store, and they were greeted by a rather busy Sugoroku, who had been tending the store. Yugi and Jou got in line, Yugi wanting to ask his grandpa whether he got new cards or not. Jou, however, wanted to test luck of the draw and decided to purchase a couple of packs they had released after the second virtual world incident. As much as Kaiba had managed to pull them out of there, he pulled a fast one over Industrial Illusions, who were folding quite fast, in fact, buying the Duel Monsters franchise and using the cards the big 5 and Noah had created in their database for his own profit by releasing new packs with these cards in them.  
  
So, Jou, in a swift move, purchased a couple of packs. He went to sit down, with Yugi, of course, to look at what he got.  
  
"So, Jou, what did you get?"  
  
"Wow! That was one hell of a payload!"  
  
He threw the cards on the table, and amongst them, were a Fiber Jar and an Interdimensional Matter Transporter.  
  
"These babies are going straight into my deck!"  
  
However, Yugi was far more preoccupied by the figure currently talking to his grandfather about cards, as it was menacing his chances with Jou. He did not look in his direction, as to not attract Jou's attention to him. However, let's go see what the two of them are talking about.  
  
"Honda, I never knew you dueled." mentioned Sugoroku, just making a comment.  
  
"I started once, lost interest, and figured I could actually win some if Jounouchi managed to become a top duelist in only a few months time."  
  
"Well, he had the potential, do you?"  
  
"We'll see now, I'll buy a couple of packs from these, and these two cards."  
  
"What, Yata-Garasu and Vampire Lord?"  
  
"No, these cards!"  
  
"Oh, Warrior Dai Grepher and Spirit Ryu."  
  
"Yeah!"  
  
Sugoroku looked at Honda and shook his head. He handed to him the packs he ordered, he paid up, and while grinning maliciously at Yugi, he went at their table. Jou looked at Honda, and couldn't believe it.  
  
"Honda! About time you got with the program!" exclaimed Jou.  
  
Honda shook his head and looked at Yugi, who was currently doing his best to fume, though failing miserably at not looking cute. Honda simply took out the pile of cards he called his deck and started to chat with the others.  
  
"So, Honda, when did you start dueling again?" Yugi asked, intent on actually knowing why he started anew.  
  
"Well, I figured that since I didn't want to become a monkey again, I should at least start doing some dueling. I can't let you guys have all the fun."  
  
The sharpness of that last word revealed to Yugi the purpose of Honda's presence here. He was there only to break them up, and to score Jounouchi for his own. Yugi cursed mentally and went inside his soul room, leaving Yami in control.  
  
'Yugi? Yugi? Can you hear me?' asked Yami.  
  
'Take over! Please! I'm just too angry to even enjoy being with Jounouchi right now!' he yelled out mentally, which made Yugi's body cringe, and Yugi ejected Yami into the body, and out of his soul room.  
  
What Yami saw was two guys looking at him to see if he was all right.  
  
"Yes, I am all right, I was having a mental conversation. Honda, I see you have started up Duel Monsters again."  
  
Honda simply nodded as he shredded one of the packs open.  
  
"Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap...and...oh my god, I can't believe it!"  
  
"What did you get, Honda?" asked Jou.  
  
"United We Stand!"  
  
He instantly slipped this into his deck, taking out something he had beforehand. They continued like this and had a lot of fun, more fun than Honda actually thought he could have duelling and just editing his deck out with friends. He began to understand his friends' enjoyment of dueling, and quite frankly, even though he did not want to admit it, he was thankful to Yugi about bringing Jou here, and he was even more thankful to himself to have ruined Yugi's plans with Jou.  
  
Now was the right time to attack.  
  
"So, Jou, what're you doing tonight?"  
  
"Nothin'."  
  
"Wanna see a movie? I hear there's a new Takeshi Kitano movie at the theater."  
  
"Cool! Senseless violence and comedy! I'm there!"  
  
Honda grinned, and winked at Yugi.  
  
* * *  
  
Yami went to report to Yugi, but it seemed he was already pretty much in the know about the whole situation seeing the state of Yugi's soul room. Even his favorite plushie, which was a toonified Dark Magician Girl, had been ripped to shreds mercilessly, and Yugi looked at Yami with an almost lustful glare, but it was mostly rage.  
  
"Yami...tonight, we're going to crash Honda's little cinema soirée...he's going to pay for taking Jounouchi away from me!"  
  
"Uh, Yugi, could you just...you know, calm down? I don't like it when you're angry."  
  
"No, I can't!"  
  
-----------  
  
Hoho, what will Yugi do to crash Honda and Jou going out? Will he take out a gun and shoot everybody? It'd make for a short fic if it was, so no, but stay tuned! 


	3. Counterstrike

Author's note : Hmm. Well, quite frankly, I haven't got anything much to say, except that this time, it's Yugi's turn to be evil.  
  
----------  
  
The Jou Wars  
  
by Igatona  
  
Counterstrike  
  
----------  
  
We join Honda and Jou as they were expecting a new Takeshi Kitano movie. Only to realize they had been had, and it was only a showing of an old Kitano movie called "Getting Any!?" which was basically the tribulations of one Japanese guy trying to get laid in his car. Honda did not want to see that movie, as it was mostly not romantic, and it would have undermined his plans to get into Jou's pants at the end of the night. Never-you-mind that he still wasn't sure that Jou was actually gay. Jou had never seen it before, and heard it was weird, but strangely good, so Jou booked the two tickets before Honda could actually do something about it. He tired to pay for the tickets, but Jou immediately said it was on him. Not wanting to risk angering his hopefully lover, he shat up.  
  
However, a small silhouette was following him, and while only catching glimpses of it, he could not identify who it was, although his hunch told him it was someone he most likely didn't want to see tonight.  
  
In the actual theatre, Honda offered to pay for the snacks, and then realized what mistake he made. Jou was very ravenous, especially when it came to snacks. So, Honda parted with his money as Jou was busy buying pretty much everything he saw. Honda wasn't that much of a snack-eater though, but he was pretty thirsty.  
  
So, when Honda came back into the screening room where Jou had camped out seats, it was no surprise that Jou looked at Honda's drink, and had two reactions. First, he was surprised that Honda would choose that, as no one ever managed to finish it, even by drinking it through the film. Especially since it was theatre-caliber, which didn't mean a high quality. The second reaction was far more interesting though, he immediately thought of berating Honda about a touchy subject for guys.  
  
"So, Honda, compensating for something with that?" he asked, but it was barely audible, as he was laughing all the way through.  
  
Hiroto Honda is not a very proud man. At least, he does not go out of his way to promote himself. However, there are two things of his you do not make fun of. His preference for italian motorcycles (he only bought a Japanese-made one because it was cheaper and supportive of the local economy) and...his size. Not that he was actually lacking down there, but it annoyed him that everyone thought because he had a big bike, and usually took things twice as large as others, it immediately meant he had a small appendage. He threw people through the school windows for less than that. However, he couldn't just DO that for Jounouchi, he was his best friend, and...he loved the bloke.  
  
Jou was not taken aback at the glacial stare he got, as he pretty much deserved it. However, what DID surprise him was what Honda said.  
  
"Do you want me to prove you wrong?"  
  
It scared him. Did his best friend hit on him? Was the sacred bond of friendship, one that takes so hard to build up, been broken by one of them wanting to push it beyond simply friends and more towards love...and lust?  
  
Jou thought about it, he thought about it very hard, so much people could see the smoke coming out of his ears, and the only concluding thought he could ever make about this was resumed in this simple sentence.  
  
"Nah, couldn't be."  
  
They went on to watch the movie.  
  
* * *  
  
Over the course of the movie, Katsuya Jounouchi was laughed out many times, under the satisfaction of Honda (who thought of his operation successful), and under the dissatisfaction of a certain someone, who had been shadowing Honda as of a few hours ago. That certain someone burned a hole through Honda's head with his eyes, and wished he had laser vision at that same moment. He quickly made it out of the room when the movie was over, as to not get spotted by either of the two, which would have jeopardized his covert ops mission.  
  
After looking at the credits to see who made what, both of them went out and Jou kept on talking about the funnier stuff in the movie, like the main character that got shot by the policeman, and the ever-returning dying Yakuza member as Honda smiled and nodded. He had already seen the movie, so he knew what to expect. What he didn't expect at the moment was the huge sign his bladder was toting at his brain, said sign saying : "Dude, I'm gonna blow!"  
  
So he rushed off to the bathrooms, took up an urinal and let go.  
  
Jou followed suit, in the urinal next to him, and Honda breached another rule of masculinity in the night.  
  
He glanced at Jou's member.  
  
He was fortunate that Jou did not notice, as Jou would have grounds to kick his ass right then and there. However, there still was a problem with that short person who had been shadowing them. He couldn't quite pick out whom it was, but he had seen such shortness before...he just didn't know where! However, he did think it ugly for that person to have flat hai...  
  
Wait a second.  
  
Honda conjured up an image of Yugi, and superposed it up against the short person. A perfect match. Jou never really noticed, and went out, however, as the bathroom was emptying, two guys never actually walked out.  
  
Honda, and Yugi.  
  
* * *  
  
Yugi looked at Honda, and realized that he had recognized him even with his clever disguise. As he saw Honda walking towards him, he feared the worst, he feared that Honda would take him, toss him around like absolutely nothing, and proceed to gut him like a fish.  
  
But Honda did no such thing.  
  
Instead, Honda looked at Yugi, and simply started to yell.  
  
"What the FUCK are you doing shadowing me around!?"  
  
"The same thing YOU did when you arrived at my grandpa's shop! I'm ruining your chances with Jou!"  
  
"Well, you're making a poor thing of it because I've pretty much got him in the bag!"  
  
"No you don't! Jou is mine!"  
  
And they kept bickering like this for a long time. Outside, Jou was wondering what was keeping Honda so long. It couldn't be anything important, right? Nonchalently, Jou opened the door, and looked at his two best friends yelling at each other, and listened in on their little spat.  
  
"Whore!"  
  
"Slut!"  
  
"You only want him because of his body!"  
  
Jou was surprised, he didn't know Yugi was gay.  
  
"And YOU only want him because of his schlong!"  
  
...and Honda was, too!? There was something wrong with this picture, and he felt the gut instinct to not listen in on further, but there was something he needed to know first. Who were they talking about?  
  
"Face it, Honda, I care more about him than you ever will. Jou is mine, Honda!"  
  
The both of them didn't have the time to turn their heads before hearing a door slam, and someone running away. They could only guess it was the love of their life, Jounouchi.  
  
"You made him run away, Yugi!"  
  
"No, you did!"  
  
And thus they continued on, however, let us follow Jounouchi.  
  
* * *  
  
After running for a few hundred meters, Jou had finally found a pay phone that was far enough from these two freaks to actually call someone. Who could he tell about this? Ryou? Nah, he probably knew anyway. Otogi? The last thing he needed was for the self-proclaimed dice master to make fun of him saying he should go for either of them. Shizuka? No, he couldn't simply just CALL Shizuka to explain that his two best friends fell in love with him. That's just not right, asking your sister to do this. So, he conjured up the only person he could remember that could actually listen to him and not panic.  
  
He dialed Mai Kujaku's number.  
  
"Hmm? Hello?" she answered, a bit sleepily.  
  
"Mai! It's Jounouchi! Thank god you're there listen I've got to..."  
  
"Jou...? Is that you? What happened hon?"  
  
"Well it all started when Yugi invited me to the card shop and Honda came and we played duel monsters until it was dinner time and we ate dinner and Honda invited me to a movie but I didn't think much of it and then I..."  
  
"Katsuya! Fucking breahe already! And get to the point, I've got some sleep to catch!"  
  
That'S when Jounouchi, lovable goof and a staple for most self-esteem problems, broke the boiling point.  
  
"MY TWO BEST FRIENDS ARE GAY!!!!!"  
  
On the other side of the phone, Mai winced. She took the phone, and spoke frankly to Jounouchi.  
  
"And what do you care?"  
  
"Because they're both in love with me!"  
  
Mai blinked, and laughed at Jou.  
  
"You're kidding me, right!?"  
  
"I shit you not, Mai, I'm seriously distressed here!"  
  
She stopped laughing, and seriously said she would be on her way, he hoped it wouldn't take long.  
  
* * *  
  
Meanwhile, Yugi and Honda had been staring at each other the entire time they went out of the theatre, each of them hoping to make the other give up the staring and ultimately give up the ultimate prize - Katsuya Jounouchi. They had stopped insulting each other when Honda actually used : "son of a submariner" as an insult, which is about the time when they realized they had pretty muched used every insult in the dictionary, twice, without resorting to "Yo Mama".  
  
They eventually sat down, and stopped glaring at each other. They were waiting. For what? Jou. Or something else. There was no way Jou was escaping tonight without choosing either one of them.  
  
Jou thought it better to wait for Mai at the theatre, as she wouldn't know where he had called from, and he saw the two dumbasses in front of the theatre, sitting on the sidewalk, visibly not talking to each other. He wanted to slap each and every one of them silly, but he didn't know if they were going to like that, so he prefered not to. When Jou made his presence known, the both of them sprang up and simply declared the following.  
  
"Jou! You've got to choose!"  
  
Jou was taken aback by this sudden brashness over something they'd never tell him, ever. Or at least, before a couple of months.  
  
"Jou, we've been through thick and thin before, pick me, you know I've got what you like." declared Honda  
  
"No Jou, pick me, I care more about you and I honestly do want you." countered Yugi.  
  
And this circus continued on until Jou could not take it anymore.  
  
"STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!!"  
  
Both of them stopped.  
  
"Haven't you thought of something before trying to secude me, you dickwads!? I'M NOT GAY! I'm not interested in either of you. In fact, after what you guys did tonight, the last person I actually want to see is you two. I don't know about anything, but the only person I've ever wanted, sexually or not, is Mai!"  
  
Mai overheard this, and smirked.  
  
"And you kept this from me because?" she said to Jou, who was a bit blushing at the moment.  
  
"Well, Mai, I've been meaning to tell you...hehehe."  
  
Mai laughed.  
  
"Well, big boy, I guess we've got some time to make up, right hon?"  
  
Jou nodded and left with Mai, not before turning around, taunting the two left behind.  
  
* * *  
  
What else was there to do but talk? They both had lost what they wanted, and now, their life didn't really have a meaning, much like their hatred. They knew Jou not being gay was none of their fault. So, instead of going back home after this little fiasco, they thought it better to talk.  
  
"So, Honda..."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"I'm sorry for shadowing you around..."  
  
"And I'm sorry for threatening you and ruining your dueling date with Jou, not like we're ever going to have any now..."  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
They paused, lack of anything to say oblige.  
  
"Honda?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You know, when Mai said 'Big boy', I thought of Jou, naked, and..."  
  
Honda laughed.  
  
"Big boy is right, y'know."  
  
Yugi was surprised that Honda knew such a thing.  
  
"Did you two ever...!?"  
  
Honda interrupted him.  
  
"No, I only know because I glanced at him when we were in the bathroom tonight."  
  
Yugi sighed.  
  
"Not like I'll ever know now anyway."  
  
Honda sighed. It'd be tough going back home alone tonight. No one on the bike to grab at his waist in a hugging manner, no one to snuggle with, and he had made sure he'd unpacked the couch-bed for tonight so that they could sleep together.  
  
Yugi thought the same, there would be something missing about tonight, and he knew exactly what that something was. He wanted love...and Honda wanted the same thing.  
  
"Honda, since I was such a jerk tonight, let's go out to dinner, my treat."  
  
With such a cute, innocent little smile, and genuine feelings of apology, how could Honda refuse? But he couldn't let him do all the work.  
  
"Only if I can give you a lift back home afterwards."  
  
"Okay."  
  
Both of them smiled before heading towards the nearest fast food joint they could find...  
  
...and before heading in that joint, Honda looked at Yugi and asked :  
  
"So, is this a date, or not?"  
  
Yugi simply smiled and held his hand. The both of them knew they weren't going to be alone...  
  
...for tonight, at least.  
  
----------  
  
This is the end...  
  
Beautiful friend...  
  
This is the end...  
  
My only friend, the end...  
  
And so on, and so forth. I can't be assed to type it up completely, and you get the point anyway. I had a blast writing The Jou Wars, and I'm hoping that ending, although rather clichéed, satisfied you. Know that I'm working on a lemon involving Yugi/Honda that happens right after this fic, so be on the lookout for that on adultfanfiction.net  
  
Please, please, and I do mean please leave a review. I admit the ending was a bit abrupt, but I didn't want to drag this on for years on end, and all good, or bad, things have an end.  
  
In any case, leave a review if possible, it's greatly appreciated. 


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